Roger saw it coming and side stepped sending Julian crashing to the ground.
"An' the second thing a new cap'n 'as ta do is stop kissin' other sailors. Ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho."
"Aye," added Kirk, "the only thing a sailor should kiss be the capn’s log."
Julian smiled.
"Down ta business lads," Roger spoke before Julian could comment further, "We 'as ta make sure that Black Beard aint on the island. I'll submerge The Wood Pigeon and drive round the island, if we sees any ships we'll have to lay off over the horizon until they're gone. Now then, once we gets ashore our first job be ta gets rid of Black Spot. Julian, 'ows our secret weapon?"
"Ooh, har," replied Julian trying to sound more like a cap'n, "she be looking super my old shipmates."
"Ah har, what be the secret weapon?" enquired Kirk.
"Ah har, ha, ha. It be Mitzy, the sexiest 'ound 'e as ever seen, ol' Black Spot aint seen a bitch in years, 'e be in for a big surprise when ‘e meets Mitzy. Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he."
"Ar, that be a good trap, what then?" asked Kirk.
"Black Beard always buries the feet under the crossed trees, so 'e must always land at the beach closest to them there trees and bury the bones before taking the treasure up ta the cave. We opens up some of the chests of bones, so's 'e knows someone's found 'em, then we takes all the treasure back ta The Enterprise. When Black Beard sees that someone’s been at ‘is bones ‘e be rushing up ta the cave ta check ‘is treasure, when ‘e gets ta the cave we'll be waiting."
"Hmm, but won't Black Beard put up a fight shipmates?"
"We digs some holes an' covers 'em wi’ fishing nets and then covers the nets wi’ leaves so's they can't be seen, when Black Beard walks on ‘em ‘e falls in the hole an’ we ties up the net wi’ 'im inside; simple."
"Ah har, Cap'n Roger, 'e 'as a clever plan."
Kirk and Julian returned to their ships while Roger checked the island for pirate ships. All was clear so the three ships anchored in a secluded bay, and landing parties went ashore.
"Ah har, Jim, 'e goes an' opens up some of them there feet chests. Julian, bring Mitzy, we goes ta catch Black Spot."
Mitzy was in fact a fake dog, to humans it looked really stupid, but to a mean dog that had not seen a bitch in years any old sea dog with four legs would look attractive. Hidden in a certain part of Mitzy’s anatomy was a bear trap, brings tears to your eyes just thinking about it.
Mitzy was pushed up the hill until she was in view of the cave. Roger, Julian, and the rest of their landing parties hid amongst the bushes and waited. Their wait was short, after only a few minutes they heard Black Spot call to Mitzy.
"Ruff, rruff, woooof," Black Spot called.
"Woooof woof," Julian replied in a seductive manner.
Black Spot new immediately that it was his birthday and charged up behind Mitzy.
"Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff," woosh, snap "Hooooowwwwwwllllllllll," Black Spot fainted.
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