bird perished. The remainder of the Persian army fled back to Persia taking with them the last of the deckchairs.
Seven years later a new pigeon virus hit Zorba's stock, PSE, also known as mad pigeon disease. Tragically Zorba died after being mauled by two mad pigeons, and it was not long before the entire stock was wiped out.
The birds died, and with them P-mail, but on his death bed Zorba said, "One day, somewhere, somehow, P-mail will return."
And what of Plastikoktopous? Well, he got fed up with breeding dive bomber pigeons, and boosted by tales of a forty foot pigeon landing near a coastal fort, he decided to breed a super pigeon that could be used as troop transport. Alas, he died when the prototype crashed on its maiden flight.
From the original story published on the Internet as Burdett's, the Universe and everything. Copyright © L S Burdett 1 August 1996
This story version Copyright © L S Burdett 9 November 2022
Maxiumus
Time marches on, as did the Roman Empire, right from its’ early days, the Romans spread their Empire across Southern Europe and the Middle East. At the time of Pertius Caesar we find Maximus, a high ranking officer in the Roman army, follow his adventures and you'll be quite surprised by what he accomplished.
"Oh, I'm bored!" gasped all glorious Pertius Caesar. "What are we going to do tonight? I'll tell you what we're doing, another flipping orgy that's what!"
"Why don't you give it a rest!" Voluptua snapped back. "Moan, moan flipping moan, anyway, I like a good orgy."
"Only hope you've got," Pertius muttered quietly.
“I heard that! We're having an orgy tonight and that’s final, you'll just have to make the most of it. Throw us another bunch of grapes, dear.”
“Catch.”
Voluptua had married Pertius when he was a senator, she was beautiful then. But that was thirty years ago, now Pertius thought she looked more like a deflated camel.
"You'll be okay Pertius, I'll ask Marcus to bring along some of those vestal virgins for you."
"Oh, I can't manage them anymore, besides they're so difficult to replace these days."
"Well, you should try some of Aphrodisia's love potion, Vine-agra, that'll get you going."
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