Pink Beard, the youngest son, could make hardened sailors leap overboard into shark infested waters just by saying those immortal words, "Oooh, hello sailor." Pink Beard let his victims live, but often they would take their own lives.
Elsie Beard was Grey Beard's wife; she didn't join the battle very often. Sometimes though, when they knew that a ship was carrying a precious cargo, Elsie Beard would wait in ambush as Grey Beard manoeuvred the victim into her trap. This was the most feared form of attack, which sailors referred to as the EB GB’s.
The Admiral of the English fleet, Sir Donald Drake, had seen many fine sailors set sail never to return. Drake was determined to put an end to the Beard’s and the terror they inflicted on the seas.
He knew of only one man that had the steel nerves, the courage, the nautical know how, the ship, and the crew, to put an end to the reign of terror caused by the Beards.
"But if I do send myself, I'll miss out on the Queen's birthday party next month," Donald reminded himself, "and anyway, my ship's booked in for a 20,000 nautical mile service on Tuesday."
"Who could I send? I need someone who can sail with a crew tough enough to fight the Beards, someone who is brave, cunning, a born leader, a great sailor. Hmm, no, can't think of anyone. I'll send that mug Roger instead; I've been trying to get rid of that giggling twerp for ages."
Roger was famed throughout the land as being the world’s biggest bore. He thought that he was funny, he had dozens of jokes, whimsical odes, and naughty songs, but his delivery was pathetic, nobody ever laughed with him, they laughed at him. Poor old Roger, he'd chuckle away thinking everyone got the joke, but the joke was Roger.
There was another side to Roger though, he was a fine sailor and a nautical inventor, his ideas lead to some of the nautical equipment seen throughout history, as you will learn.
"Yes, great idea," thought Donald, "Roger will bore the Beard's into submission."
"Number One!" Donald yelled. "Send a messenger to Roger, he'll be on his boat in Portsmouth, he must report to Admiralty House immediately!"
"Aye, aye, Sir, I'll go myself," no.1 jumped to his feet and left for Portsmouth.
Part one: Roger v Pink Beard
Aboard Roger's boat, ‘The Wood Pigeon’, there was much activity as his latest invention was about to be unleashed on an unsuspecting world.
Roger had lost many friends to pirates and needed a way to stop the carnage. Survivors told of how pirates would be ruthless in their pursuit of a vessel, so long of course that it hadn't sunk. Roger decided that he needed an invention that would fool the pirates into thinking that his ship was going down to Davy Jones Locker.
"Ah har," Roger muttered to himself, "the first thing be ta make the ship sink."
"Hmm, that's quite easy, you fill it wi’ water," interrupted Julian, the cabin boy, as he entered the captain’s cabin.
"Aye, then ta make it float ag'in, 'e pumps the water back out. Ah har, Julian, 'es a clever lad."
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